We are all familiar with the milk commercial “Got Milk?”. I have seen bumper stickers and other advertisements borrowing different forms of this phrase over the years. I want to borrow it today to speak with you about love. The advertisements suggest you go out and get whatever it is and when you do it will enhance your life. We tend to think of love in the same way. We tend to go out to get some with the hopes of enhancing our lives. Is there love out there for us to get? The answer is yes and no.
First of all I want to clarify love. There are two kinds. The first kind that you, for the most part, experience with other people in your life is conditional love. This is what most of us think love is. We share a relationship with someone and label it love. But this kind of love comes with strings attached. “I will love you if______.” “I will love you when______.” You do it to them. They do it to you. It how we are taught to love. It is what we believe love is. It is how most of us experience love. Instead of making you feel good, sometimes it makes you feel not so good. You live in fear of not getting it and losing it if you do. Not exactly the scenario you dream of when you think of love.
The second, and I would really like to call it the first because it is what real love is, is unconditional love. It is pure love. No strings. No ifs. It is the love from nature. It is the love from your dog. And how do you experience this pure love? By first loving yourself unconditionally. You cannot give that which you do not have. You may think that you are loving without conditions, yet if you are not loving yourself, if you are not filling yourself with love and gratitude from within yourself, then you are not giving the quality of love that is your full potential. You will still withhold your love at times in order to control a situation. Whenever love is withheld it becomes conditional.
You will know if the love in your life is conditional when you find yourself looking for it outside of yourself. When you love yourself, love comes out of you. You don’t need to look for love outside because the love coming out of you attracts love to you. The love that is attracted to you comes easily and feels good. You don’t need outside love to be fulfilled because you have enough love inside of you to fulfill all your needs. The love that come to you from the outside is a bonus for the love you have for yourself. No conditions. Just feel good love. Are you ready to love yourself unconditionally? Can you? If not, why not?
Mary Lou Morris
Life Coach, Intuitive Guide, Reiki Master/Teacher